A calling.

I think Peter Gabriel is calling to me. Or "In your eyes" is becoming my theme song. Or just today it is. Or something. First, Rachel and I watched Say Anything today, featuring this song, not to mention my occasional glances across my dorm room at the poster of John Cusack holding up his boombox and the first verse of the song written next to him. Second, I heard the song as I was listening to a new mix cd while I trekked to Carrboro this afternoon. Third, and this really did it in, I was in Harris Teeter checking out in the self-check line, and the song comes on. And HT does even usually have good music playing.

the crazy

Jesus Christ, mother of god, it's weird how fast your life pace can change, your daily activities, the people you are with. Now I am here, after somehow maintaining sanity through two of the most exhausting days, but still good. Yesterday was my first "work by myself" day at Paper Pen and Ink, and for 8 hours nonetheless...it was a little scary. But it wasn't incredibly busy, and it seemed to go by fast. I handled it better than I thought I would. So I trekked over there, picked up a frappuccino on the way, was there from 10-6, sheesh. From there I grabbed some dinner for us party-havers, took two balloons from the if you are a child you can have ONE for free section of harris teeter, met kit and rachel and headed over to bryan's for the setting up of our party. and amy and rachel 19th birthday extravaganza, mind you. See the cool thing about this was we started it earlier so we could have our little chill time with our friends who came to visit: it was good to see the lump and his girlfriend. i approve, they are good ones. Good music and good people, all that's really important. And then of course, the prov, and then back to the party, which produced: craziness, and just pure exhaustion on my end. But I really had a great time. Its good to have a big celebration every once and awhile, and for me, hasn't really occurred that much since recent years, and definitely never to this degree. And 24 hours later, I came back here, ready to just sleep. And now i have, and feel oh so much better.

So now that I am working two jobs and somehow surviving summer school, my summer activities are shaping up. I've had a fairly relaxing first few weeks, and now its going to be quite a reversal. Come visit me at Great Harvest. I start this friday.

Thank you to everyone who came. If you couldn't, I hope to see you soon. And thanks to you who genuinely cares. It makes me happy. Off to a bonfire, woo.

Mean Girls

Listen: I never expected this seemingly typical high school flick to be so fucking hilarious and so worth your while. I'd been anticipating the watching of this movie for awhile and after finally seeing it, I can't express enough its greatness.

I don't want to spoil it of course, and I will try not to. It's such a great satire on the horrible cliques of high school, and even though I can say my own Chapel Hill High School was nothing like that, I think it did a good job of adding so many different aspects of every high school all into one. And being written by SNL's Tina Fey, along with some other SNL cameos that rock, so much great humor comes out of it. And the craziness of it ends with a somewhat twisted but good message in the end, but it's great cuz you know everybody can relate to it in some way. Seriously, I thought we'd be like the only non preteen/high school age moviegoers, but now that i've seen it, I think it is much more appreciated by the graduates. We've been there, done that, perhaps didn't love it, and now realize why. With good company, I think you can really enjoy this one, have a laugh, and feel a little nostalgic/glad you are not in high school anymore. I'm not saying movie of the year or nothing but...regardless, hilaaarious. And by the way, I just gotta say this, when did Lindsay Lohan get such huge boobs? Maybe the time in between The Parent Trap and now just passed me by, but whoa.

What?

After being bothered and bothered, well I am finally enrolled in DSI 101. Hhhwwhhhaaaat?! Oh yeah, Corey signed me up--a birthday present. That was unexpected and very nice. You are such a gentleman/DSI instructor, Mr. Brown. No, I sincerely appreciate it and will give it my best shot. Just because I didn't take the initiative doesn't mean I won't give it my all like anything else I would do.

Oh by the way, did I mention I am turning 19 a week from today? June 1st, babies, don't forget. And come out and celebrate at my and rachel's party this Saturday. How is it that I'm turning 19? Eh?

As for all other shit going on right now, in the last few days, I've realized that no matter how fucked up a situation is, that somehow the way it is right now is probably the best it could have been. You make mistakes, you correct them, you move on, and while it sucks in the meantime, usually something good results. Whether it is learning from the mistake or sacrificing one shitty thing for another really good thing. And while some things still aren't resolved, who knows if they ever will be, some things just have to lay as they are. At least for now. But I don't know, I think things will be alright. Plus, Mean Girls tonight! Look for a long awaited review of it soon.

When down, get someone to tell you everything awesome in your life. It helps. It really helps.

"Say Anything" is a really fucking good movie. And correspondingly, "In Your Eyes" is a really fucking good song.

People.

See, some people just suck all around. Don't deny it, think about it, and truly i'm sure you can come up with at least one person that fits the description. Its the truth, its furreal, and can't be ignored. Then there is the opposite. The people that are incredible, specifically that pertain to your life. They are awesome, and unforgettable to you. Of course, with all, comes imperfections. Everybody has them, some seemingly more than others, but really they just come out in different ways. But the great thing about the awesome people is that even though you know there are problems that remain and always will, the goodness of their hearts outweighs such things, most of the time. Its when the once-seeming-to-be-awesome, or the god-i-know-what-you-can-be-and-its-so-much-better person does or says something that disappoints you or comes unexpected that things can unravel its thread and produce something less than good, or less than what it was, or less than what it could be, or should be. And even more, I hate when you are that person.

It is so hot.

Well it is currently Saturday, and I am about to have a stroke of heat seeping deep into my pores and taking over my entire body. But ya know, pretty much everything else is cool, so hey, whatev whatev. This is what summer should be like. Yesterday was long but enjoyable...trained at Paper, Pen and Ink, walked a lot in the heat, ran into Nida, whom I love. hung out a lot. Last night, I had the pleasure of dining with some new friends: Bryan's friends, Pablo and Natalie, whom I had met both of previously, but I'd never seen them together. They're great. And I met a new Mexico-originating friend, Rolando, who is aaaawesome. We should hang out. It was a good time, especially with their insane cats that seemed to be the center of the party. I just think its good to chill with new people, that you don't see every day, it makes for a new experience and a good time. You should do that. The prov was enjoyable as always: yeah, friday night kevlar/the code, awesomeness.

And today brought...getting to catch up with Dosha, and exchange our insane endeavors in the last few weeks (god i love her). some people are really just great to talk to, no matter how often it is. And got to hang out with Justin. I miss him, so used to being at arm's reach (cuz my arm reaches from 1st floor avery to 4th floor). the three of us, man, we're tight, and hadn't seen him for awhile. so that was real good. elmo's, and new expresso, gelato place in southern village, which is very worth your while, the name escapes me, but it's good. trust me. and for some reason, today i thought being somewhat of a bitch to random strangers would be a good idea. i don't know what's coming over me, eh? i think i should describe this in some detail: group of somewhat preteen girls in elmo's....one of them wears: a yellow "dress" which is essentially just a cloth towel that goes around some portion of her body, which isn't flattering mind you. but not only that, she wears a black bra underneath it to show. huge hoop earrings, braces, everything you want in a girl. so i was dared to tell her i like her dress, so i did as she was leaving. i tried to say it meaningfully. and she sorta stares ahead for a second, then proceeds to look at me awkwardly and say quietly, "....thanks." whoops. maybe that is really fucking mean. but what can i say, you gotta take those impulses sometimes.

I've yet to do the homework i should do, since i think i'm failing summer school. Instead, it's much more necessary to hang out with people i like, and do things i want to do. i like that ability.

And later tonight, of course, I.I.....with spherical suicide (ahh!), and hosted by rachel...expect awesome.

So, as usual, life is crazy, and I'm loving it. Everything right now I'm just taking as it comes to me, not bothered by as many things, and just kinda hanging in there, because usually, it comes out alright in the end. Why the hell not? It's summer. And with that, I hope YOU are having a great day, and many great days to come. Appreciate them. And love them.

Thanks to you. Thanks to you for being awesome. And thanks to you for being in my life, and making it more awesome as a result.

I never thought it would come to this.

So. Basically, I decided to start a journal, I don't know why, because it sorta goes against my previous beliefs. Well, not entirely, but you know it is just something I really didn't feel the need for. You see, I have a journal already. It's personal, I share it with no one, except for bits and pieces of it here and there. I don't lie, because I hate superficiality. So I keep it real, and hide nothing. And the point is, it's cool, because I am just talking to myself, and that is all that is needed. In fact, sometimes I think it is actually more healthy to spill things out to yourself than ramble on to other people. I mean, why have ANOTHER place to write stuff, if it's not gonna be the real deal, all the shit that's crowding your jumbled mind. Not to mention, all that crap that comes with having one--not mentioning people that should have importance or whatever, and then the people getting mad that they weren't talked about. (yeah, char, and our agreement on the thought of live journals). Anywho, let me just preface this by saying I am doin it for pure entertainment for those yearning to peek into my life, ahem, specifically those um who have been begging me to do it on several occasions. And to those whom I told previously that I would never have a journal, I am sorry. I have failed. Eh, who keeps promises anyway? Wow. Ok, so I just talked about live journals for a long time. But really, I'm glad of it. These things should be talked about.

And on to other things...I guess an update on what the hell I am doing, what the hell I have been doing, etc. Currently, I am sitting in my summer school dorm room, here at the lovely institution of UNC-CH. Yes, I know, I could be living at home, since I live a mere 10 miles from my current position. But among a multitude of reasons why it is nice to live on campus, I am here, with my best friend in the whole world, and letting my life go as I want it to go, something slightly less plausible in the boundaries of my household. And the thing is, there are things I am passing up by doing so: having a car at my ease, an awesome house that i love (newly painted, by the way, with bright colors everywhere you turn. w00t.), FOOD. But there is a reason why we go to college, and live in a dorm, despite its downfalls. And the same goes for summer school. And as of now, I'm in Bio 50, Molecular Biology and Genetics...yeah, just taking it as it comes to me. But it occupies me, and makes me feel like I'm being productive, somewhat. And what does the rest of the summer hold? Well, I will be here residing in Graham until approximately July 23...up until the end of Summer Session II. Then...BOOM, go home for a day, then leave with the fam for UTAH! That is right, for our family vacation, this year we are taking a break from the traditional Colorado, and heading to the southern part of Utah. Truth is, my mom has this timeshare thing so we get a free week in this resort thingy and then a few days in the Grand Canyon. Yes and I do mean IN the grand canyon. Then, back for a few weeks at home, and somehow the summer is then over, and I go back to school, for my sophomore year.

Wait....hhhwhaaaat?! Sophomore year....in college? That's crrrrazy. Somehow, I made it through the completely insane freshman year I had. So much fun had, so much work done, and changes made. Too much craziness to describe. But overall, I am pleased. I truly ended up having a great year, and am glad that my freshman was the way it was, because I know how unfortunate many have it the first year in college, and in retrospect, I really do think I had a great one. Thank you to everbody who made it awesome. I think it's just crazy, how completely different my life is now, compared to how it was, just a year ago. But it is good different, and I am happy about that. Hey, so i was thinking...since this turned into being extra long, and stuff...maybe i'll retire here, I mean, stop writing, I mean and/or proceed to do homework instead...what? uh, yeah, feel free to comment. feedback is good. ok, i see you lata.