thoughts and thoughts

I'm in that I am so tired but I can't sleep even though I desperately need and want to phase, and I'm so cold. Why am i so cold. It's summer. It's the rain.

But I got the chance to lay in my bed, and just think. Not say anything, just thinking. And I didn't remember until now that i was reading the words "say anything" on my poster on the wall, over and over until they blurred.

Today, I thought a lot about people.
Going to sleep at night. The necessary things to wake up each morning. That one can't do without item. The healing power that works every time, or at least has an effect. The connections with the most personally important people. Flirtatious looks. The qualities that define goodness. Angry reactions. Admitting jealousy. Things, emotions, and other people that bring happiness. Bad moods, and what sparks them. The degrees to which emotions are expressed. Motivation to do things, and to make other people happy. Pet peeves. Modes of communication. Talking about oneself. Idea of a fun time. Importance of serious conversation. Treatment of others. Appreciation.

Just some of the few million things that set each and every person in this world apart from every other. I thought about it a bit, and came back to the simple conclusion: everyone is different. Nothing can be done to change that. Different interests, different reactions, different talents, different values, entirely different personas. Duh.

You observe different people, you observe them, surround yourself with them, and a lot of times, by habit, you begin to find a common thread between them. The people you are around have something in common. That is why you are together. And the focus lies on that thread, and the other strands are sometimes forgotten. They don't mean to be, they just are.

I've found that people can often do this in order to feel part of something. You want to be accepted, or maybe just have something in common with one person. So you focus on it. But I feel like not enough people truly spend their time finding the differences, and keeping them. The truth is, I don't live to impress. And dealing with the people that do is almost overwhelming. How hard is it to just want live as i am, exist as myself, nothing less or more, and not feel pressured to change.

I know I haven't been extraordinarily articulate. But it is just thought. Some people think a lot more than they do. Others are vice versa. I'm the first one.