July 19, 2004

see ya

So, it's currently July 19th.  How did it get to be today??  This week is going to be incredibly filled.  I just hope to get through it. I've got my final on Thursday, and then I'm going home.  On Saturday, I am leaving for Utah.  As I mentioned before, I'm sure, I'm going with my family to southern Utah and Las Vegas for 10 days.  I can't even express the extent of my excitement. (whoa alliteration.) So...I won't be online for awhile, and won't be updating.  However, look for an in-depth entry of my vacation activities when I return.  Then I'll be at home for about 2.5 weeks, meaning I'll be online somewhat less, enjoying time to myself and in my house.  Finally.  So everyone, thanks for making this large portion of my summer crazily great, and please enjoy the rest.  If I didn't yet get to see you, I miss you, and will be looking forward to seeing you in August, if at all possible. Live it up and I'll see you soon. Love.

July 16, 2004

strengthening

Things I can't do:

  1. Watch Saved By the Bell: The College Years.
  2. Watch The Cinderella Story, with Hilary Duff.
  3. Stop listening to Old 97s, Ben Folds, and Guster, all mixed together.

So on wednesday, on my bus ride to work, I noticed this guy with these boxes of "leg health" (that's all i could read from across the aisle, and it seemed to have pictures of legs on the box.  Then I saw he was actually wearing these stockings, under his pants (relax. I could see them between his socks and the bottom of his pants.)  They were very light-skin colored, not transparent at all.  And of course my first reaction was, uh, why is this old man wearing stockings? So without trying to glare too much, I thought about it--I'm assuming they are some kind of medical thing? I guess I've vaguely heard of that before, but I'm not really knowledgeable.  I just found it a little strange that this guy was wearing stockings.  So later, as Rachel and I were taking side-by-side showers, and discussing this observation, she suggested I look it up online, to become better informed. And I did today, and yep, to confirm my assumptions, they are called compression stockings, that help with swelling and such.  You're probably reading this thinking, "Yeah, duh, Amy". I knew that already.  But I'm taking the liberty to acknowledge my "ignorance", if you want to describe it that way.  I'm glad I know now, instead of stupidly lumping this man into the pile of freaks that use Chapel Hill transit, including myself, who that day had a swollen eye, and probably earned just as many stares. Maybe it's a small step in the direction of trying to be a nicer, and less dumb and ignorant person.  I guess sometimes that small effort can help.  And I can't help saying that using the buses this summer has been a curious experience, I have encountered some interesting people, but I like it. Today I ran into Janine Heiser, from high school, and chatted with her on the F bus. It seems one of my favorite parts of the day is walking to Carolina Coffee Shop bouncing along to my CD of the day, for the 8 minutes of walking time, in the summer sun.  I don't know why it brings so much peace, but I always seem to be in a good mood for those moments.

I just came back from my second Physical Therapist appointment, which unlike other doctor appointments, I actually like going to.  My PT is really nice and helpful, and is working hard to determine what's wrong. It's really good to finally talk to someone who knows what they are talking about.  And it makes feel so much better about really being able to do something about my back and neck problems.  It's just been so bad recently, and whatever it took to finally act on it, and see somebody about it, was definitely worth it.  And I think whatever I need to do to help the problem will also be worth it.  And I think since I've been in college, it's one of the first times I truly have taken the stand to deal with a problem like this on my own, so that is a good thing.

I think the gist right now is: I am strengthening.  I'm strengthening my muscles--changing my ways, and in turn, making a stronger foundation for a better and more comfortable life.  I am strengthening my mind and emotional state.  I am working to be less worrysome and more focused on my appreciable good things.  I am strengthening my relationships, making everything about them more enjoyable, and not letting others phase me. Good.

 


July 14, 2004

eesh

Lloyd: How hard is it to decide to be in a good mood, and be in a good mood?
Constance: Gee... it's easy.

Today I woke up completely rested. It was the first weeknight perhaps the whole summer that I've gotten over 8 hours of sleep. It felt really awesome. Then my eye swelled up, for no apparent reason that I can find. And it still looks like shit.

If I'm dealing with shit, don't let me hold you back. Don't let me stop you from having a great day or a fun time. I'm just letting you know. I appreciate all the sympathy and care you give to me, of course. But I don't want to hinder you.

And thank you for missing me. I miss you too.

July 11, 2004

spontaneity

I needed a break, from everyone and everything. And it was fulfilled. I did what I usually do every semester or so, I went up to VA to visit my sister, in Harrisonburg.

Friday: Went to class, came back, packed up my stuff, took a short nap. Bussed over to my car, stopped at Great Harvest to pick up some cookies, and headed out. Took right about 4 hours to get there. I love the drive, it's so pretty driving through the Shenandoah Valley, listening to loud music that only I want to listen to, and singing the whole way. I think I've reestablished my love for GC. They're fun. I got there around 6:30. By that time I was mega-hungry. What I had that day: cheesenips and chocolate milk for breakfast, a blackberry clearly canadian, a lot of cheese, rasberry iced tea, and a cinammon scone on the way up there. Anywho, so I found her apartment, we chilled for a bit until we decided to go eat round 8. We went to the Little Grill, which I've been to before but only to see a performance, not eat. It's a cute, small-town kinda place, they have open mic night there, etc. It was good. Then we came back and played Reel Clues, movie trivia game. w00t, love it. It took a really long time, but I won, I ended up forming a movie starring Marilyn Monroe and Bruce Lee, set in Monte Carlo, directed by Martin Scorsese, and written by Oliver Stone...interesting. Then we watched a movie, The Butterfly Effect, the somewhat thriller starring Ashton Kutcher. Really incredibly disturbing, but after thinking about it, I've decided that it made you think about stuff, but then no, cuz none of that could ever happen, it was too ridiculous to fathom. So, eh? Ended up sleeping around 4 am.

Saturday: Woke up at 12. At this point, we didn't really have a plan. We figured we'd just laze around, maybe watch another movie or something. There wasn't too much to do, so we'd just do whatever. But the night before, Brent had been in Asheville at an Old 97's concert, and he had called during the concert like 4 times so we could hear it. I love them. We couldn't really hear much except when they played Question (Someday somebody's gonna ask you, a question you should say yes to, once in your life, baby tonight i got a question for you) and Valentine (It's a lonely lonely feeling when your valentine is wrong). ANYway, I was like, you know, I want to see the Old 97s. Let's see where they are playing. So i did, turns out they were playing tonight in D.C. At this LiveOnPenn thing, they have a concert of like 4 bands every saturday night outside on Pennsylvania Avenue. It's $7.00. So, that's only two hours away. It starts at 5. We mapquested directions. That's really cheap. You wanna go? It's 1:00 now. If we leave at 2, we can get there at 4 in time to get tickets. The headliner is Eve6, who cares about them. We'll go just to see the old 97's. Okay, let's go! Charlotte showers, I write down the directions, we make quick sandwiches for lunch, run a few errands and go. I drove, and it's a little scary driving into D.C., never actually done it before, but we got there, and smoothly. Only thing was we didn't know where to park, but we found a $5.00 parking deck right near where the concert was. So we parked there, and went. At that point it wasn't crowded at all. It was this big radio station-supported event, sponsored by Miller Light, etc. So we got some expensive food and drinks, and sat right in front on the pavement on our blanket we brought. There were two other bands before the Old 97s, Practically Einstein and The Speaks. They were both alright. And we were sitting right behind these incredibly dorky high school boys, bah. Then the Old 97s played at 6:30, and everyone moved up and stood. Then we realized everyone was there to see them, which was cool. It was really good, they played for about an hour and a half. They played a lot of good songs, a lot of them I didn't know, but they were all good. Even the somewhat country ones I liked. And Rhett Miller is kinda hot in a weird way. Ha, yeah they're really cool. It was much fun. We didn't even stay for the headliner, cuz at that point it was really hot and really thirsty. It was great, just spontaneously driving to D.C. I hadn't been there for a long time, forgetting that it's a pretty cool city. So, awesome, everything worked out, and we drove back. We stopped in Vienna to get some dinner at this place called Noodles and Company, ate some good pasta and headed back. Got back to Harrisonburg around 11, so tired by that time. Went to sleep about 12, cuz Charlotte had to get up at 8 to go to work.

Sunday: Woke up at 10, showered, and now I'm still in Charlotte's apartment, she's at work, and getting ready to drive back to Chapel Hill.

This weekend has been really great. I was so excited to get away for a little bit and hang with Charlotte, it's always so worry-free and nice, we can do what we want and it's always a good time. I love it. I'm so glad I did it. I only have one more weekend before I go on vacation. This summer is running out, just as I imagined it would. I'm having fun though, and that's the important thing. I know the rest of the summer is gonna be awesome, as will be fall semester. I can't wait.

My back is really hurting, it's just getting worse. But I'm going to the Physical Therapist tomorrow, so I think's it okay. And I think everything is okay. I love summer.

July 09, 2004

word.

I failed to mention earlier that damn. patrick swayze is dirty dancin HOTTTT. And I realize it every freaking time I watch the movie. Come on people, you musttt agree.

July 06, 2004

just take some time

Today, I discovered that kiwi and watermelon is an irresistible mixture, and I love it. It's the color of Christmas but the feeling of summer. It was the highlight of my day.

I want my comfort back. I want to drive in the car and sing to my favorite unknown, only knowing that my passenger knows and loves all the words too. I want to watch a day's worth of television, even when there is something better to do. I want to pick out two obscure movies that neither of us have seen and fall asleep watching them. I want to complain about the worst people and boast about the best. I want to sleep until no one cares. I want to explain nothing because we both know what is already there.

Everything is beginning to be nothing but wishes. A lot of what I wanted then is what I have now, and yet I miss what I had then. There is no specific "now" and "then", it just is. And I know that I can't and don't truly want to escape everything of now. But I need time to let my overwhelmed mind reorganize. Let it process before it explodes. I need to be honest to myself and to everyone. It takes time and space.

July 01, 2004

hmm.

You meet some interesting folk on the Chapel Hill Transit system. Yesterday, I encountered a young "couple" at the Varsity Theatre stop. The boy was wearing a bowtie around his neck. He kept kicking my seat on the bus. Today, I saw them again. This time, the girl was wearing the bowtie. And the boy asked me what BL stands for. They seemed to have an interesting relationship.

I want to go to the North Atlantic Shore and find a bright blue baby lobster, because they do exist.