strengthening

Things I can't do:

1. Watch Saved By the Bell: The College Years.
2. Watch The Cinderella Story, with Hilary Duff.
3. Stop listening to Old 97s, Ben Folds, and Guster, all mixed together.

So on wednesday, on my bus ride to work, I noticed this guy with these boxes of "leg health" (that's all i could read from across the aisle, and it seemed to have pictures of legs on the box.  Then I saw he was actually wearing these stockings, under his pants (relax. I could see them between his socks and the bottom of his pants.)  They were very light-skin colored, not transparent at all.  And of course my first reaction was, uh, why is this old man wearing stockings? So without trying to glare too much, I thought about it--I'm assuming they are some kind of medical thing? I guess I've vaguely heard of that before, but I'm not really knowledgeable.  I just found it a little strange that this guy was wearing stockings.  So later, as Rachel and I were taking side-by-side showers, and discussing this observation, she suggested I look it up online, to become better informed. And I did today, and yep, to confirm my assumptions, they are called compression stockings, that help with swelling and such.  You're probably reading this thinking, "Yeah, duh, Amy". I knew that already.  But I'm taking the liberty to acknowledge my "ignorance", if you want to describe it that way.  I'm glad I know now, instead of stupidly lumping this man into the pile of freaks that use Chapel Hill transit, including myself, who that day had a swollen eye, and probably earned just as many stares. Maybe it's a small step in the direction of trying to be a nicer, and less dumb and ignorant person.  I guess sometimes that small effort can help.  And I can't help saying that using the buses this summer has been a curious experience, I have encountered some interesting people, but I like it. Today I ran into Janine Heiser, from high school, and chatted with her on the F bus. It seems one of my favorite parts of the day is walking to Carolina Coffee Shop bouncing along to my CD of the day, for the 8 minutes of walking time, in the summer sun.  I don't know why it brings so much peace, but I always seem to be in a good mood for those moments.

I just came back from my second Physical Therapist appointment, which unlike other doctor appointments, I actually like going to.  My PT is really nice and helpful, and is working hard to determine what's wrong. It's really good to finally talk to someone who knows what they are talking about.  And it makes feel so much better about really being able to do something about my back and neck problems.  It's just been so bad recently, and whatever it took to finally act on it, and see somebody about it, was definitely worth it.  And I think whatever I need to do to help the problem will also be worth it.  And I think since I've been in college, it's one of the first times I truly have taken the stand to deal with a problem like this on my own, so that is a good thing.

I think the gist right now is: I am strengthening.  I'm strengthening my muscles--changing my ways, and in turn, making a stronger foundation for a better and more comfortable life.  I am strengthening my mind and emotional state.  I am working to be less worrysome and more focused on my appreciable good things.  I am strengthening my relationships, making everything about them more enjoyable, and not letting others phase me. Good.