dammit! i never post!

so i finally found some time to make a post.

dude. i JUST finished TWO EXAMS. today was the day of hell. and i thinking i'm failing out of college, but i don't want to talk about it. so boobie. but i'm done with that shit. and i'm glad i chose to have fun this weekend rather than not. eff that. friday was fucking awesome. i wish i did that every day. me and rachel and jade lin had a great time being RETARDED and it was awesomely great. saturday was crazy, ended up going to the dth banquet, couldn't ever get a ride home but then did, and eventually ended up at 80s dance. it wasn't one of the best but despite my shoes, i still had fun in the end. the point is that i felt really great this weekend, despite everything. i hadn't felt that way in a really long time. it's hard to explain without being really specific, but i feel so much better. just putting things that suck aside and just saying i honestly don't care. making it better feels GREAT. i hope that stays.

you know, i'm myself. i can't pretend, or even attempt to be you, or anything else. sometimes you think that being like someone else would make you happier. but it's not the natural thing. and if you're not real, then who are you. what you do works for you, and that's lovely. but once you find happiness, you'll know why. and i bet you anything it won't be because you pretended.